Transformation

January 22, 2013 seems like a lifetime ago. I have 'shed my skin'. I have been 'reborn'. I have made a transformation. All of those can be said for my life the past eight months. I don't feel like a different person. This is who I have always been, but hidden deep inside my insecure body. I guess that would be insecure mind. ;-)

I've made some big decisions in my life lately. I do share a lot of personal information here, but some details will not be shared. My divorce is only being mentioned, because I feel I need to clear up what I'm sure some have thought. "She's divorcing him after losing all of that weight." If anyone knows me personally they know why I made the incredibly hard choice. Becoming healthy mentally and physically is what helped me be strong enough to do what needed to be done. I wish him happiness and good health. Done.

I really don't know where to begin! Even with the hard changes in my life I am incredibly happy! My time with my boys is cherished and so much better now. I'm exercising three to five times a week! There have been so many times when I've surprised myself.

One of my friends and I were talking about when to leave to see Bon Jovi. She asked me if we could leave at nine. I replied by saying how about ten, because I'd like to exercise and have time to shower. What?! Who said that? That's me? Yes, exercise is a huge priority in my life now. It is my antidepressant.  Exercise is my canvas. My body is what is on the canvas, and as I lift the weights or do my sixth minute of squats I'm creating my artwork. It has taken my whole life to realize whatever my body is, it is mine, and it is beautiful with all of its imperfections. I need to remind myself of this when I'm concerned about my scars or my sad face my skin makes on my stomach now. (hehe) What I need to celebrate are the tight thigh and arm muscles I have now! This is my artwork!

I have lost 115 pounds since December. Someone I know asked me why I was exercising if I had this surgery. I didn't have this surgery for an easy answer. This was a drastic but needed decision. The gastric sleeve is a tool. It has been a huge tool for helping me change my life. After my surgery I was sick for quite some time. My gallbladder was the culprit. After that surgery I was depressed though. I had no motivation to exercise. Well, I had the

desire to exercise, but I still had the old negative thinking that I wasn't good enough to be in the aerobic classes. A couple of my friends mentioned the classes they liked at the YMCA. A friend mentioned they were going at 5:30. I was hooked after that class! My friends and family have been such a huge support system!

 People tell me I'm such an inspiration. I need to thank my friends and family for being here for me. The support, kind words, and love has also helped me get to where I am. I've done the hard work, BUT my beautiful friends and family have been with me every step of the way. Ah...I digressed. Exercise and the question of why am I exercising if I had this surgery. Once again, this surgery gave me a tool. It wasn't the magic pill. Before I started exercising I felt depressed. I thought, "Great, I will be thinner now, but still out of shape." To finish this story.... I now exercise and LOVE it! I signed up for the 5K Mud run here in town. I cannot wait to participate with my team! I'm ready to get dirty!

There is so much more I want to share, but for now this is it. I'm 36, mother of 3 boys, divorcee(soon), and a junior at EIU!!! Oh and I wear a size 8 at Black and White! *CHEER!*