My Journey

Tomorrow is the beginning of a journey I've been anxiously awaiting. This blog will be the recording of this journey, and how I ended up making the decision I'm made. This blog will be honest, sometimes filled with too much information, and long winded. ;)

I haven't told many people, but I'm having bariatric surgery on January 22, 2013. At times I've worried what people will think about it, but I can't be concerned with that. I had first decided to have the lap band put on, but I've now changed to having the vertical sleeve done. What is that you may ask? Well, the doctor will remove most of my stomach so that I'm left with a tiny stomach. At the most I will be able to eat 2 to 3 ounces at a time. I will never drink pop again. There's so much more to it, and if you want look it up to learn more. I will lose the majority of my weight within the first 6 months to a year.

This decision did not come lightly. I can't tell you how many diets I've been on. For me, I need a strict, no choice about it plan! If I mess up it is life threatening, and for me that's ENOUGH to stay on track. You'd think heart disease, depression, and other issues with being overweight would be enough. But sadly because it isn't an immediate consequence it isn't enough for me. Yes, I try and try. You may say I haven't tried hard enough. There are some people that know about this surgery I'm having, and they have doubts that I will follow it and they are scared for me. The nurse has said don't let anyone tell you this is the easy, because it isn't. I am TRULY committed and excited to begin this journey! I need to do something NOW and this is what it needs to be. I find myself afraid that I will be having knee surgery in fifteen years, and following in one of my grandmother's footsteps if I don't do something drastic.

I can't tell you how thrilled I am! I've been a little overweight to obese since high school. I've tried different exercises, but honestly my breasts are so darn heavy! I've had John hold them up a couple of times so he could see how heavy they are. It is such a relief on my back and neck when he holds them for a couple of seconds. *giggle* He can't hold them for too long, because they are so heavy!!! I've wanted to run for exercise. I've tried taping them, many different sports bras, and even running where no one can see me while I hold them. (I told you this blog would have TMI.) As of right now I wear a size 44H(tight) bra. I joke at times that I'm this fat, because I can't see my body below my breasts. When I look in the mirror I'm reminded that I am THIS fat.

I have started a list of ...you could call it my 'New Life Bucket List'. Some of the things on the list I've done, but I don't or haven't wanted to do because of my weight or when I THOUGHT I was fat (more on that subject later). Here is my list as of right now:

• Skiing
• Ice Skating/Roller Skating
• Horseback riding
• Hiking long distances and up mountains
• Theme parks without worrying
• Training for the Crazy CarX
• Ziplining
• Taking the kids canoeing
• Swimming laps
• Aerobics classes
• Ballroom Dance classes

As of tomorrow I start my two week 800 diet of veggies, protein shakes, and lots of water. I'm looking forward to eating a ton of veggies. My body is ready to eat healthy and feel good. I did receive a call from Carle saying that the past employee hadn't sent my papers in to the insurance yet!! I'm so frustrated with Carle and my insurance. I've had so many problems with them. Now because of someone not doing their job I may have to put this off AGAIN! I called the Carle Complaint Line hoping I can get somewhere. So this is the beginning of my journey. Happy Birthday to me! :-)